Nostalgia

nos·tal·gia

näˈstaljə,nəˈstaljə

noun

1. "A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations."

During church last night I was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. It always makes me think of Hillsong Church, and everything about my life back in Cape Town; aside from the studies. I know that I can’t really compare the two churches because they are quite different. But there is just something so much more vibrant about the atmosphere at Hillsong. Walking through those doors was exciting. People boldly lifted up their hands in worship and danced during the more upbeat songs. And I felt more comfortable expressing myself in that way too. Here, the atmosphere often feels a little more subdued. People worship a little differently and seem a little more serious.

It really isn't fair to compare these churches, but I mourn the loss every time I hear a familiar song. But it’s not just the church itself that I miss. I miss fellowship and the little cell group I belonged to. I miss having people to connect with; even if it was just for a couple hours a week.

I also felt so safe on campus. I didn't realise that until this year. I used to complain constantly about how isolated it was and how closed off from the world I was.

But right now, I’m kinda feeling like a tiny fish plucked out it's fish bowl and placed back into the great big ocean.