Thursday, 22 November 2012
Thursday, 15 November 2012
I want to be independent; and free to do my own thing. Go where I want to go, do what I need to do. With nothing to hold me back.
But it seems a little difficult sometimes. I think that I’m afraid of the big bad world; afraid to take risks; to jump without a safety net. I’m alone here. Who will come to my rescue if something happens? Who will be here to catch me if I fall?
Yea, I know it kind of defeats the purpose of wanting to be independent. I know that I will always have my family, but right now they are far away. It is a little intimidating to just brave the cold and plunder forth, but living under a shell is not much fun either.
Every year I tell myself that it will be different. I'll try new things, go out, be adventurous, and meet new people. But I never seem to get around to it. There is always one excuse or another. Either the timing doesn’t seem to be right, or I feel that I should rather be saving money.
Sometimes I wish that I had a simpler life. Filled with all the things that my heart desires. Never having to budget or worrying about price tags. I wouldn't be one of those big spenders, but I just want the freedom to do what I want to
Saturday, 10 November 2012
God has His own way of showing us what we need. Life may not always be filled with rainbows and butterflies, but there is always something to be grateful for. One day, in the future, all the pain and heartache will just be a distant memory. And from it, we will draw great strength and wisdom. I believe that God is preparing us for something extraordinary. He has an incredible plan for our lives.
The hardest part is just having faith.
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
*Sigh what a long couple of weeks this has been... I'm all done with classes for the year, but now I just have to wait for the rest of the 2nd years to finish “Intro to Clinical Medicine” before we start with final exams – on the 22nd November!
I know that I should be grateful for the time that I have to prepare, but I can’t help just wanting to get this all over with. I’m so tired of studying and I still have like 2 weeks of endlessly long days spent in front of books, books and more books!! I think I might just go crazy!!
And as much as I try, I still find it difficult to keep focused and stick to my study plan. There’s that little voice in the back of my mind that's scared shitless of having to rewrite these exams in Jan next year.
But I know that I really can’t keep thinking like that. I have come a long way since last year, and it would be a shame to deny all the changes that have happened in my life, by still believing that I am not capable of achieving my goals. I have grown in my faith and I have a strong support system around me. So all that is left is to just get on with what I need to do.
Medicine will never be easy, and there will always be challenges. The only thing that will determine my outcome is whether I rise to meet those challenges, or back away with some excuse of not being strong enough or good enough.
I don’t want to look back at the end of this year and think that I did not do everything that I could to get to where I want to be.
So I guess that this leaves me with no choice other than to just soldier on… into the trenches I go. This is WAR!